She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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