dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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