do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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