Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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