I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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