once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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