i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
