he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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