Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
