If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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