i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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