Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
