Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
