I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize