Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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