I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
