At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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