My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
