and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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