Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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