Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
