and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
