Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
