Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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