sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
