All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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