Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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