come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
