Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
