So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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