I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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