I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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