I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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