So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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