She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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