Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
