Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
