she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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