He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
