everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
