I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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