So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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