I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
