Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
