im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
