Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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(937): View more from Ohio

I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?

(708): View more from Illinois

We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.

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(916): View more from California

Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

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(512): View more from Texas

There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.

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(+61): View more from Australia

It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine

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(801): View more from Utah

Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock

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