So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Im part way to drunk.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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