i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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