If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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