You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
