he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
