How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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