There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize