but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
