I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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