I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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