his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
