alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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