Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
