i don't like sucking hair
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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