I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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