It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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