some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
