What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
